Guest's Guide to a Wiccan Wedding

A Handfasting (Wiccan wedding) is the ritual occasion when non-Wiccan friends and family members are most likely to be invited. If you have been invited to attend a handfasting, you may be wondering what to expect. The details of handfasting rituals can vary tremendously, but here are some things you're likely to see:

• Priestess and Priest
  The ritual will likely be conducted by both a High Priestess and a High Priest, possibly assisted by four additional priests and priestesses for the four directions.
• The Circle
  All Wiccan rituals start with a circle casting. Since we don't tend to have church buildings, and we often worship outdoors, this is how we declare a place to be our church for the duration of the ritual. The circle may be cast with great ceremony and fanfare and waving of swords, or it may be done simply by gathering the participants in a ring where the ceremony is going to take place. Or you may just see someone walking around the edge of the gathering for no apparent reason, but the Wiccans present will be paying close attention.
• The Four Elements
  There will usually be some sort of invocation of the four elements, Earth, Air, Fire and Water, in the four directions. This may involve spoken invocations, or it may involve holding up or carrying or placing physical objects which are symbols of the elements. The elements represent our connection to the forces of nature, and they represent the variety and range of our experiences in the material world. We tend to make heavy use of the symbolism of the four elements, so any time there is a series of four similar statements, or four people speak in turn, it is likely that each statement is spoken from the point of view of a different element, and the four are meant to bring balance and harmony.
• The Goddess and The God
  Next, there will likely be an invocation of the divine forces, in the form of the Goddess and the God, which is how we express the creative aspect of the divine. (Just as Christians view the divine as a trinity of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, so Wiccans view the divine as a duality of Goddess and God.) They may be called under specific names in order to indicate something about the particular aspect or quality of divine energy we want to bring into our ceremony, or they may be called with a litany of many names in order to attract a more all-encompassing divine energy, or they may be identified with natural forces, such as Moon and Sun, for a less anthropomorphic representation.
• Wine Blessing
  At some point, there may be a wine blessing, in which a chalice of wine (or fruit juice) is blessed either by the High Priestess and High Priest, or by the bride and groom. One of them will hold the chalice, while the other lowers a ceremonial knife into it. This symbolizes the creative union of opposites - female and male, Goddess and God, earth and heaven, life and death. After the wine has been blessed, it may be passed around the circle for all to partake. Although this is very similar to the Christian transubstantiation and communion rite, Wiccans won't be offended if a non-Wiccan takes some of the blessed wine (I understand some Christian churches are very particular about that sort of thing). So, don't be afraid to partake of the wine, if you feel comfortable doing so. If you would prefer not to for reasons of your own, it's okay to decline, but I would suggest you discuss that with the high priestess before the rite so that it doesn't come as a surprise in the middle of the ritual.

All of that is common to any Wiccan ritual. For a handfasting, there are a few specific customs that are likely to be observed:

• The Challenge
  It is possible that the bride and groom will enter the circle separately, and each may be challenged at the entrance to the circle with a dire-sounding "this is your last chance to back out" speech. If this is done, the purpose is to impress upon the bride and groom that they are embarking upon a major life transition. Of course, we expect they know that already, but a little added drama may make it feel more real.
• The Vows
  The bride and groom will probably exchange vows, and it is possible that they will have written the vows themselves and put a lot of thought into exactly what they want to promise each other.
• The Handfasting
  The "handfasting" itself is when the bride and groom's wrists are tied together to symbolize their union. Sometimes each participant in turn gets to tie a ribbon around their wrists and offer them a personal blessing.
• Jumping the Broom
  The bride and groom will probably leave the circle by jumping over a broom that has been laid on the ground or is being held at ankle height at the edge of the circle. Partly, this symbolizes crossing the threshold into married life, and partly, it reflects an old bit of agricultural fertility magic that has become traditional for us.
• The End
  After the bride and groom have left the circle, there is a little more ritual to attend to: the four elements are formally dismissed, and the circle is opened, declaring that the ritual is officially at an end.

For more general information about the beliefs and practices of the Wiccan religion, you might want to take a look at The Nature of Wicca.

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